Mariah Carey featuring Miguel—“#Beautiful”
#24
The guitar intro sounds off at first, like someone without chops trying to play the opening of The Temptation’s “My Girl” and having to cut large sections of it in order to stay on the beat. But then the lo-fi drums and bass come in, and you realize that, in its way,” #Beautiful” is Motown, only modernized, Miguelized. It’s grittier, fuzzier, more laid back in some ways and tenser in others. Despite the credits, this is Miguel’s record, and I suspect that its revitalization of Mariah Carey’s career will last only as long as it stays on the charts. She dramatically alters her style here—the melisma mostly gone, with added burr in her tone—but there’s no sign of any growth in maturity or understanding, and she still does things that are deeply irritating. You’d think Carey would be beyond giggling and playing the sex kitten by now, but once you’re locked into a persona it’s hard to get out. I wonder what a Miguel solo version would sound like.
Jennifer Lopez featuring Pitbull—“Live It Up”
#73
Lopez is sounding as confident as she did in her glory days (which doesn’t make her a great singer, but it helps), and RedOne’s production is insane enough to be enjoyable, if not crazy enough to be great. But there’s too much Pitbull on this record, and he spends too much time bragging about Lopez’s comeback, as if he were more responsible for it than Lopez herself, or, for that matter, American Idol. He may think of himself as Mr. Worldwide, but to a lot of people he’s essentially the Miami version of will.i.am, and sometimes he just needs to shut up.
Gloriana—“Can’t Shake You”
#83
If you’re going to be taken for a second rate Lady Antebellum anyway (which auomatically makes you a third rate country group), you may as well go ahead and rip off your model wholesale. At least they picked “Need You Now”, one of the better Lady A. songs, for reproduction. But just to prove they’re not totally slavish and have ideas of their own, they stick a little bit of The Police’s “Every Breath You Take” onto the end, because, hey, no one’s ever ripped that song off, have they?
Carly Rae Jepsen featuring Nicki Minaj—“Tonight I’m Getting Over You”
#90
The main problem I have with Jepsen’s album, Kiss, which is overrated by those who love it and underrated by everybody else, is the busyness of the arrangements. Unlike “Call Me Maybe”, there’s too much going on on most of the tracks, and Jepsen’s vocals, along with her idiosyncratic sense of melody and structure, get lost. This remix is a vast improvement over the original, giving the vocals some breathing room, and allowing MInaj to take up just the right amount of space. I only wish it were a better song.
Randy Houser—“Runnin’ Outta Moonlight”
#91
I’ve bemoaned country’s endless assembly line of mediocre good ol’ boys so many times now I won’t bore you repeating myself. Houser, however, has no such compunctions: he’ll sing out the same ol’ clichés to the same ol’ banal music ‘til the moon falls out of the sky and the cows come home. Then he’ll do it again.
Danielle Bradbery—“Maybe It Was Memphis”
#92
Easton Corbin—“All Over the Road”
#98
Corbin tries hard to make this sound cute, and you can hear the strain. It’s not entirely his fault: I don’t think anyone could make something enjoyable out of a song as bland as this, and the tinny production doesn’t help. Note: This was co-written by one of the writers of “Runnin’ Out of Moonlight”. Isn’t that guy on a roll.
Rich Gang featuring Lil Wayne, Birdman, Future, Mack Maine, Nicki Minaj—“Tapout”
#100
They are all rich, but the only gang member worth your full attention (Future earns about half your attention), is Nicki Minaj, who gives the actual title of this record, “Million Dollar Pussy”, an edge that cuts so many ways it’s a surprise the rest of the gang still have their heads (either one). The beat’s not bad, but Minaj is the only real reason to listen.