Eminem—“Berzerk”
#3
As good as it is to see Eminem running at full, sober throttle again, the fact remains that “Berzerk” is a hopeless, chaotic jumble—it’s a tribute to Rick Rubin’s production skills that it makes any sense at all. As always, Eminem is trying too hard, and the jokes (and there are hundreds of them) sound so forced that not a single one is funny. I would never suggest that he give up his sobriety, but he needs to do something to relax. Maybe Rubin could teach him to meditate.
Green Shoe Studio featuring Jacob Colgan & Fred Stobaugh—“Oh Sweet Lorraine”
#42
It would be easy to say that the story behind the song is better than the song itself, and it would also be true—I can’t think of many songs that would top it. But that doesn’t mean the song is bad. Fred Stobaugh is no musician, and he couldn’t be considered a lyricist, either, but he’s smart enough to know he’s neither and doesn’t try to fake it. And Jacob Colgan was smart enough to respect that and not to try to fancy things up. The result is simple, plain, and yes, a little schmaltzy. But after 75 years together Fred and Lorraine earned the right to a little schmaltz. This is a novelty hit for sure, but it manages to be a lot more.
Bruno Mars—“Gorilla”
#60
I’ve already written about this song at length, and I stand by most of what I said then. It’s worth pointing out, though, that Mars’s voice isn’t quite up to the material, and the production could use a little more air and punch. Still, I tend to agree with Mars when he says this is the best song he’s written so far, though I bet he’ll write even better ones in the future.
Enrique Iglesias featuring Romeo Santos—“Loco”
#87
Having jumped on EDM last time out, Igelsias covers his home base by diving into bachata, and guarantees a positive reception in the Latin market by enlisting Santos. Iglesias sounds more human in Spanish than he does in English, but he’s still easily bested by Santos, who, on his own records, is more loco than Iglesias will ever get. Still, at least Iglesias knows there’s one thing he’s better at than Pitbull.
Avril Lavigne—“Rock N Roll”
#91
I’ve never doubted that Lavigne can still pump out the rock and roll, especially with Chad Kroeger by her side. The question is whether anyone cares. This is no better or worse than most of Lavigne’s records, but it dropped off the charts so fast you’d think it was one of her soundtrack abominations. The next step is either EDM or tripping the oldies circuit with her hubby. The second option would probably be less painful for everybody.
Juicy J featuring Wale and Trey Songz—“Bounce It”
#96
Not terrible, just ordinary. At least Juicy J’s stopped sitting on his Oscar (ouch!).
Joe Nichols—“Sunny and 75”
#98
After all my talk about the country boy assembly line, here comes a guy who really does sound like a machine. That’s not just a simile: there’s something about Nichols’s vocals, especially on the verses, that sounds less than human, machine-tooled by Nashville robots to be a perfect, streamlined delivery system of banality and cliché. Good hook, but otherwise “Sunny & 75″s is more of the usual. It does, however, provide a clue as to how Nashville is responding to global warming: by extending the summer clichés deep into the fall, maybe even to the point where they turn into Christmas clichés.