Jimmy Fallon featuring will.i.am—“EW!”
#26
I appreciate Jimmy Fallon’s love of music, because it results in great bookings on his show, but I’ve never found him funny, and this joke was done better earlier in the year by “#selfie” (even then it was out of date). will.i.am, who’s a bigger joke than anything Fallon will ever come up with, provides the professional gloss and grease.
Florida Georgia Line—“Sippin’ On Fire”
#62
Slightly deeper lyrically than usual, but these guys sing about romance and cheating the same way they do about partying and drinking, which makes it sound like the only reason they want the girl to dump her guy is so she’ll be more fun to be around on the weekend. If she doesn’t, there’s always another girl on the tailgate.
Ed Sheeran—“Thinking Out Loud”
#69
A decent mid-level British soul ballad ruined by Sheeran’s inability to shut up. Chop off the first verse and spice up the too-spare production and you’d have a palatable record, if not a great one. He’s learning, but only by fits and starts, and I doubt he’ll ever get it right.
Avicii—“The Days”
#78
EDM producers love their machines, but they don’t seem to know how to record vocals. Avicii makes Robbie Williams sound like just another John (Martin, Newman, etc.). This doesn’t matter much in pure EDM, but Avicii is trying to make pop music, writing structured songs and inserting electronic imitations of Clarence Clemons to give them that “rock” feel. It makes perfect sense for Avicii to model his music on Bruce Springsteen at his most bombastic, but it doesn’t mean he’s any good at it. Maybe he should aim a little lower.
Ariana Grande & The Weeknd—“Love Me Harder”
#79
Despite the presence of The Weeknd, who takes the idea of an emotionally harder love and crudely turns it into a reference to the pressure between her thighs, this may be Ariana Grande’s best record. The more emphasis she puts on her sultry lower register the better she sounds (which shouldn’t be a surprise, since it was true of Grande’s model, Mariah Carey, as well), and the production sets it perfectly, especially on the chorus. She should take this as a lesson: less strain equals more emotion. Even Carey figured that out in the end.
Brad Paisley—“Perfect Storm”
#85
Even when he’s exhausted, which he obviously is, Paisley still knows how to put a song together, and there’s nothing technically wrong with “Perfect Storm” except for a couple of dud lines and a less than stellar guitar solo. It doesn’t have much energy, though, and when he makes pop by the numbers Paisley doesn’t sound any better than anyone else. You’d never mistake him for Kenny Chesney or Keith Urban, but please, someone needs to make this man to take a vacation.
Fergie—“L.A.LOVE (la la)”
#97
This travel itinerary for the rich, dull as it is, does bring one nagging if unimportant question to mind: is Fergie doing Iggy or was Iggy doing Fergie all along? And if they made a record together, would both their careers implode? Here’s hoping.
Yo Gotti—“Errbody”
#98
Musically it’s ordinary, but the lyrics, which lay out as well as anyone ever has the problems I have with rap in general these days, are perfect. “Errbody on Instagram looking like they’re rich/But they’re not” pretty much sums it up. He even admits that he helped start the ball rolling. Gotti’s a little late to the game, to be sure, but it’s nice to know that even those who are most invested in the role are starting to get the message.
Kid Ink Featuring Usher & Tinashe—“Body Language”
#100
For a guy with minimal talent, Kid Ink sure gets a lot of big names to guest on his records. Or maybe Usher is just selling off hooks he doesn’t want to expand on himself. Whatever the case, Tinashe is wasted, though she sounds good, and this is as ordinary as an Usher hook gets.