Don’t Go Cryin’: Hot 100 Roundup—3/15/14
The Chainsmokers—“#SELFIE” #55 Of course the music is all cliche—that’s part of the joke. And of course the vocals are incompetent even at being stupid—that’s part of the joke, too. As is the already...
View ArticleUnconscious: Hot 100 Roundup—3/22/14
Coldplay—“Magic” #24 The news of Chris Martin’s breakup with Gyneth Paltrow, conscious or not, lends this song a certain poignancy. It sounds like too little too late, as if Martin was arguing with...
View ArticleI Luh Ya PopHot 100 Roundup—3/29/14
Soko—“We Might Be Dead By Tomorrow” #9 Yet another YouTube flash, debuting in the top ten and disappearing completely the next week. Soko herself isn’t a flash—she made a wonderful record with...
View ArticleNo, No, and Oh My God NoHot 100 Roundup—4/5/14
Calvin Harris—“Summer” #69 When pop producers go EDM, their productions are still recognizable as pop—the beats and flourishes may be different, but the overall structure holds tight to tradition. When...
View ArticleInsanity, Fever, Drugs, and Other LiesHot 100 Roundup—4/12/14
Shakira—“Empire” #58 “Empire” is so insane that I couldn’t tell you whether it’s any good or not. Shakira borrows half a dozen different vocal effects, invents a few of her own, ties them to some of...
View ArticleHot 100 Roundup
5 Seconds of Summer—“She Looks So Perfect” #60 Australian boy band, One Direction approved, bouncy, loud, maybe slightly better than average. None of that matters. What matters is the chorus, an...
View ArticleBring Out the Big Balloons! Hot 100 Roundup—4/26/14
Ed Sheeran—“Sing” #15 With Pharrell in the producer’s chair, this was guaranteed to at least not be a rhythmic embarrassment. The acoustic guitar driven beat is a welcome change from the usual drum...
View ArticleThey Got a Sayin’ Hot 100 Roundup—5/3/14
Lana Del Rey—“West Coast” #17 My difficulties with Del Rey revolve around performance rather than concept. Her intelligence is as obvious as her lack of vocal talent, and the music she places around...
View ArticleFluffer Than Fluff Hot 100 Roundup—5/10/14
Avril Lavigne—“Hello Kitty” #75 Unless you believe that copying or borrowing elements from a foreign culture for the purpose of creating art or entertainment is racist—a broadening of the term that...
View ArticleRemember When Iggy Meant Pop? Hot 100 Roundup—5/17/14
Arianna Grande featuring Iggy Azalea—“Problem” #3 Produced by Max Martin, and in the great Swedish pop tradition this is catchy as hell while making no sense whatsoever. Or, to put it in the form of a...
View ArticleJust Kissing Down By the Riverbank Hot 100 Roundup—5/24/14
Usher—“Good Kisser” #70 I’ll admit to never being much impressed by Usher. He’s made some great records (including this one), but, much like Beyonce, you can hear how hard he’s working, the calculation...
View ArticleSecond Rate Doesn’t Always Mean BadHot 100 Roundup—5/31/14
5 Seconds of Summer—“Don’t Stop” #47 Pop-punk readymades perfectly applied, and this time without the irritating product placement. Not as deep (cough) or experimental (cough cough) as their pals in...
View ArticleSlave To the Bad: Hot 100 Roundup—6/7/14
Before we get started with this week, I just want to point out that despite the fact that I’ve panned the first two singles, Miranda Lambert’s Platinum is her best album since Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, if...
View ArticleIt’s A Song About Boom Hot 100 Roundup—6/21/14
Charli XCX—“Boom Clap” #62 Soundtrack fodder, reportedly a leftover from True Romance, and still better than 98% of whatever else has appeared on the chart this year. Charli XCX’s gift for hooks is...
View ArticleHungover Hot 100 Roundup—6/28/14
PSY featuring Snoop Dogg—“Hangover” #26 The main thing wrong with “Hangover” is the thing that takes up the most space: Snoop Dogg. It’s not that his rap is bad—it has a couple of decent moments—but...
View ArticleSome Weeks Just Don’t Deserve a HeadlineHot 100 Roundup—7/12/14
Shawn Mendes—“Life Of the Party” #24 A fifteen year-old Canadian who jumpstarted his career posting six-second covers of pop hits on Vine delivers a lyrically cliche-ridden party song converted into a...
View ArticlePromises Promises Hot 100 Roundup—7/19/14
Ariana Grande featuring Zedd—“Break Free” #15 If Grande wants to be the second coming of Mariah Carey (or third, since the second was Mariah herself), I’d prefer she take her business elsewhere. But if...
View ArticleEmpowerment With a Giggle Hot 100 Roundup—7/26/14
It’s theme week: two country songs about dirt and dust (and titled as such), and three about female self-image and self-empowerment (four if you count Echosmith, and you might even include John Legend,...
View ArticleAll Grammar and Syntax Weird Al Approved Hot 100 Roundup—8/2/14
5 Seconds of Summer—“Everything I Didn’t Say” #24 This is where 5 Seconds of Summer’s love of late 90s emo comes to the fore, and of course it’s their worst, not because of the influence, but because...
View ArticleCow Juice Opportunity? Hot 100 Roundup—8/9/14
Jason Aldean—“Burnin’ It Down” #12 This is the most tolerable Aldean has ever been. He isn’t shouting or boasting or laying on too much schmaltz, and his hip hop influences, for the first time, sound...
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