Carrie Underwood
“Smoke Break”
#43
As a former evangelical Christian (don’t ask; it was a long time ago, and that wretch is dead), I understand where this song is coming from, but since I put the emphasis on “former”, I also find it offensive. What do smoking and drinking have to do with one’s level of devoutness, anyway? Is this sort of puritanism actually the norm among the country audience, or even within Underwood’s own form of religion? If it is, you won’t find much sign of it on country radio. Does Underwood even understand how condescending “Smoke Break” sounds? Does the country audience need her indulgence to be less than perfect? She’s trying to be understanding, even empathetic, but she comes across as a prissy piece of upper crust speaking down to her lessers. And, as always, she sings too loud while doing it.
Nick Jonas
“Levels”
#87
Like Jason DeRulo, Jonas has come to the realization that sometimes pop is best when it’s nothing but fun and games. As a result, he’s started throwing whatever sounds good to him, and lots of it, onto his tracks. I’ll bet this is selling more on the ridiculous bubbling bass vocals than the song itself, and Jonas’s own voice often sounds strained. It’s a fun kind of strain, though, and his sense of joy comes through.
Macklemore & Ryan Lewis Featuring Eric Nally, Melle Mel, Kool Moe Dee & Grandmaster Caz
“Downtown”
#94
Macklemore is right to play this as a joke. His grandiosity, not to mention his enlarged budget, would be unbearable without it. The question is how deep the joke goes. Making fun of himself and his partner is fine, but since that can’t be done without making fun of the whole concept, where does that leave his guests? Melle Mel and Kool Moe Dee and Grandmaster Caz are good sports for playing along, and after all these years they’re probably happy to take a check from anyone who’s offering, but it’s impossible not to think of their appearance as exploitation. If the whole moped concept is seen as a metaphor for Macklemore’s skills and his place in the rap world, even if he didn’t consciously mean it as such, that means his guests are placed in an even lower position. I’m sure he intended their presence as an homage, but in the context it’s demeaning, especially since 99% of Macklemore’s fans have no idea who they are and would probably find their records laughably old-fashioned (from a place far beyond old school) even if they took the trouble to find them.
Chris Brown
“Liquor”
#96
Musically, this is Brown at his best, and in a few places he sings very well. But his drunk act is a failure. He sounds like a guy who’s pretending to be sober enough to come over as suave and sophisticated, but drunk enough to get away with saying things he normally wouldn’t say. Things like “All I want to do is drink and fuck”, maybe the ultimate disappointing Chris Brown hook in a long career of them. All this time and he still doesn’t get it. Maybe he isn’t that bright.
Trey Songz
“About You”
#98
A perfectly respectable addition to a perfectly respectable career, which is now past the ten year mark without creating anything striking or crossing over from the r&b charts to pop in any meaningful way. Re-purposing a Carly Simon hook isn’t going to change that, but it doesn’t do any damage, either. And I’ll bet he could easily do this for another ten years.
Andrew McMahon In The Wilderness
“Cecilia And The Satellite”
#99
By Cecilia I assume he means Saint Cecilia, i.e., music itself, which is a nice conceit, but doesn’t make him any less a satellite as opposed to a star. It also makes him seem even wimpier than his sound, since he isn’t even singing about a real woman. He sounds comfortable with this, though, which is an even bigger problem.
Kip Moore
“I’m To Blame”
#100
This may be an odd way to put it, but I don’t think Moore has earned the stance he takes here, lyrically or musically. That’s not to say he hasn’t paid his dues, but that he hasn’t paid as many as he thinks he has. He gets all the surface details right, but I’m not hearing much behind them. He’s putting up a good front, but that’s all it is.