Sia
“Alive”
#56
Written for Adele and sung like Beyonce: it seems Sia is trying to hide a lot more than her face. The irony, of course, is that Adele, of all people, probably rejected this because it was too emotionally overwrought. The song not being very good may have had something to do with it, as well. Sia and her fans may hear a woman desperately exposing her rawest emotions; I hear a would-be diva who doesn’t posess the physical equipment to pull off her more ambitious work. And, boy, does she take herself seriously—there isn’t an ounce of humor in this.
Sam Smith
“Writing’s On The Wall”
#71
A lot of people seemed to object on principle to Smith doing a Bond theme, but I had hopes. Misguided hopes, as it turns out. Smith’s greatest strength has always been simplicity; the fancier he gets, the worse he becomes. Here he mistakenly tries to be fancier than he ever has in the past. Result: not just Smith’s worst record, but easily the worst Bond theme ever, which is saying something.
Drake & Future
“Plastic Bag”, #78
“Change Locations”, #82
“Jersey”, #87 (Future only)
The tracks from What a Time To Be Alive that didn’t make it last week limp onto the chart. Everything I said before applies, except these are slightly worse (especially “Plastic Bag”).
Bryson Tiller
“Don’t”
#84
Simplified Drake over simplified Weeknd. There’ll be more from others, and it will be worse, but this is bad enough.
Fetty Wap Featuring Monty
“Jugg”
#86
The steady stream of tracks Fetty Wap has put on the chart reveal a basic truth: it’s not the hooks that matter—they’re basically the same each time—it’s the way you say them. This time he takes it a little slower, which highlights the redundancy. That doesn’t make it bad, but I hope he comes up with something else soon.
Rudimental Featuring Ed Sheeran
“Lay It All On Me”
#96
All records featuring Ed Sheeran are bland, but some are blander than others.