Eminem featuring Sia—“Guts Over Fear”
#22
Eminem says it best himself: “Sometimes I feel like all I ever do is find different ways to word the same old song.” Then he says it again: “Feel like I’ve already said this a kabillion-eighty times. How many times can I say the same thing different ways that rhyme?” And then again: “So to the break of dawn here I go recycling the same old song.” Restating this lament over and over isn’t self-awareness, it’s self-consciousness and self-pity. If he was self-aware he’d realize how much he demeans his message by repeating it in less interesting variations from record to record. Instead he rationalizes his obsession and circles in on himself a little more. Sia’s hookless chorus doesn’t help him, though it’s doubtful anything could at this stage.
Beyonce Featuring Nicki Minaj—“Flawless”
#82
Though it’s possible to accept Beyonce as a feminist, it’s important to remember that she’s what might be called a showbiz feminist. That is, even her principles come with glitz, and their presentation is carefully shaped to go down as easily and simply as possible with her public. Her feminism is real enough, but it’s curated in the same way Beyonce’s public persona has been curated since she was a teenager. That the form of much of her career has been Beyonce’s own doing serves as a major part of her feminist credentials–it may even be her feminism. But it also means that after 18 years as a star, she can’t get away with a line like “I woke up like this”, even if it’s true, and even if she intends it as a prod to all the other women in the world. But if Beyonce can’t, Nicki Minaj can. She may be just as showbizzy, but it’s a different type of show business, with a different path to success. She’s Carmen Miranda to Beyonce’s Ginger Rogers, eccentricity and electricity opposed to glamour and poise. With her big boobs and big butt and the emphasis she puts on them, Minaj is everything that Beyonce isn’t–which is to say that she’s everything a large number of Beyonce’s fans are–and when she says she woke up like this it means more and resonates in more important ways than Beyonce saying it ever could (and, unlike Beyonce, Minaj only needs to say it once to get her point across). Minaj’s presence improves the record in every way, allowing, first of all, the removal of a spoken introduction that saddled the original with a ponderous, if well-meaning, seriousness, and second, forcing Beyonce herself to toughen her approach. She may not have taken the right direction by using wealth as a defense of bad behavior (whoever’s bad behavior it might have been in that elevator), but then her feminism, just like Minaj’s, has always been financially aspirational, and you can’t blame someone who’s public appearance is so carefully controlled for venting a little now and then. If she were truly flawless, she’d be a bore.
Usher Featuring Nicki Minaj—“She Came To Give It To You”
#89
The verses, which lift mightily from the S.O.S. Band’s “Just Be Good To Me”, are wonderful. The rest, which lifts wholesale from every other Pharrell Williams production ever, is passable. Nicki Minaj, as usual, steals the record. I await the day when some DJ strings all her guest appearances together in a YouTube mix and saves the world. Maybe that could be the next Girl Talk album.
Keith Urban—“Somewhere In My Car”
#91
For once, let’s not talk about the preening, pandering voice and—oh God—the lyrics that match. Let’s talk about the guitar solo. Urban plays it himself, apparently. I once saw him on a country awards show trading solos with Brad Paisley, which was like watching an advertising jingle writer swapping lines with Shakespeare. Urban likes his guitar loud and squalling, which is one way of making up for his wimpy songs and vocals. It’s also another way of preening and pandering. At least he’s consistent.
TeeFLii Featuring 2 Chainz—“24 Hours”
#97
She has 24 hours to please him, and 2 Chainz, too. Bet that’s more time than they spent making this record. Bet they didn’t think about it any more than they do her, either.